when you love someone (#3)
When you love someone so deep outside
It seems like it's so easy to hide.
I love him not cause he cute but it his heart that's indside
You would think he could do no wrong.
Every day you would hope nothings gone,
That he would always stay strong.
He treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.
You thought your love was growing
And then one day it was all so blowing.
He started putting you down and it hurt,
You thought all you were to him was dirt.
He started ignoring you and you wondering ,
All you wanted to do was curl up and start snoring.
You thought your relationship would never end,
But that was all so fake and pretend.
My mind is as it ever been.
it's ready to take anything that comes to it.
it can take on any dream and allows follow and send.
5 comments:
Line 1 should be 2 lines that rhyme. What happened?
You don't have any similes in this poem.
You still kept lines 1 and 2 together, even after I mentioned it to you in the previous comment and called you to my desk to show you.
You forgot to use similes.
For there to be a rhyme scheme, the pattern must be throughout the poem. You kind of lost it at the end.
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